Natasha Bedingfield - Unwritten (US Version)

Ever notice how some songs just speak to you and perfectly describe how you feel? That's how I've felt about this song from the very first time I heard it. Today is where your book begins - the rest is still unwritten. =) What's YOUR song?

When is it Okay to Give Up on a Goal?

Photo by Andrew McCluskey

I’ve learned that sometimes it’s in my best interest to just give up on some things. That’s right, just wash my hands of it entirely, throw in the towel and call it quits. Now I’m not saying that it’s okay to be a quitter. What I am saying is that if you’ve been at something for a long time, approached it from every angle possible and it’s still not working for you, maybe it’s just not meant to be.  For example, if a goal you created some time back is no longer bringing you joy and for whatever reason your outlook has changed and it’s no longer a good fit for you, by all means, let it go.

Another thing you shouldn’t feel bad about giving up on is trying to be perfect, especially trying to be perfect when you’re just struggling to live up to someone else’s expectations of what you should be.  The first person you need to worry about making happy is YOU so don’t worry so much about what other people think. Yes, listen to the opinions of those you care about but if they truly care about you, they’ll want you to be the best you that you can be and not try to change you into something you’re not. This brings me to another thing that you should feel no remorse giving up: relationships with people you don’t actually like or even better, people who don’t really like you. You know the ones I’m talking about. Sometimes people are in our lives because we’re too weak (or too nice) to let them go even though we know the relationship is toxic.

So how do you know when to give up? The answer is different for everyone but I know I’m ready to give something up when it starts bringing me so much frustration that it interferes with other areas of my life.  While it’s rue that sometimes areas will overlap and one will have an effect on another, if it gets to a point where it’s causing a horrible friction creating undue stress that’s when I step back, re-evaluate and allow myself to just let it go. It doesn’t make sense to hang on to something that’s making us miserable whether it’s a goal, a job, or a so-called friend. Always remember, life is full of choices and we’re in control. Things aren’t always going to go according to our master plan but if we give ourselves permission to bend and change and when necessary, give up what isn’t working for us, we can continue to grow and evolve into our best self. 

Has there ever been a time when you felt it was right to give up on something? Looking back, do you have regrets or was it the right thing for you? 

Random Acts of Kindness

Photo by Ted Eytan
Have you ever done something out of the blue for someone for no reason at all with no expectation of getting anything in return? Didn't that feel good? When you give to others you're doing yourself a favor because it boosts your own health and well being. It's a win-win situation. For the next year I hope to perform at least one random act of kindness each day and I encourage you to do the same. If you can't manage every day, go for once a week... heck, even once a month. Just do something! =) I dare you. If you need ideas on what you can do check this out...

Ideas for Random Acts of Kindness

Now I'm off to see what I can do for someone else.

How to Put Past Mistakes Behind You

Speaking of letting go of the past and moving into the future, here are some ideas to ponder. This advice comes from worry management expert Denise Marek and hopefully this will help put you on the path of forgiving yourself creating a new destiny.

Put Past Mistakes Behind You

Don't Fear the Future!

Don’t be afraid of the future because you’re scared you’ll repeat your past...

Let’s face it, we’ve all made mistakes, we all have regrets whether we admit it or not. Each one of us knows what it feels like to fail at something. I just have to say (as I keep reminding myself) GET OVER IT! Don’t let fear of past mistakes hold you back from what could be a fabulous future. Life is a journey – sometimes the road is rough and other times it’s smooth sailing but we won’t know until we get out there and explore. Maybe you’re afraid because someone has hurt you in the past, maybe a lot of people have hurt you. That doesn’t mean everyone in your future will hurt you too. Perhaps you’ve done some things you wish you could take back. You can’t take anything back – there are no do-overs but what you can do is stop beating yourself up over it. What’s done is done.  Forgive, ask for forgiveness, most importantly – FORGIVE YOURSELF. It’s only when we are able to let go of our past that we can move successfully into our future.

The Secrets of Being Happy!

I just wanted to share a little something that I found interesting. Happiness is important to each of us and sometimes it seems so difficult to acquire. I don't really know how "secret" these ideas are but they're definitely a start in the right direction toward happiness. =)

Secrets of Happy People =)

I don't need no stinkin' personal growth!

Photo by Bjorn Bulthuis

   A lot of people might say "I don't need fixed so I don't need personal development." It's very promising that they're self-confident enough to claim they don't need fixed but personal growth isn't about being fixed - It's really about discovering who we are, exploring all of our talents, admitting all our flaws, and learning to accept ourselves. It doesn't mean that we're broken by any means. Just imagine that you're the hiring manager for a large company. It is your job to interview prospective employees, look over their resumes, do a little research on their backgrounds, and ask questions that will help you learn what kind of person they are. This is a lot  like personal development except now you're interviewing yourself, really getting to understand your likes, dislikes, attitudes, opinions and views. You're not necessarily trying to figure out what kind of person you are but perhaps WHO you are. We tend to put up a front and after a while, we grow to believe we're the person we try to get others to believe we are. Does this make sense? In a way, we're putting on an act every day and those on the outside only once in a while get a glimpse of our true selves. We hide behind facades and sometimes, sadly, we forget who we truly are. What's worse is we may be worried that who we truly are isn't good enough and people won't accept us. So, personal development can help break down those walls that hide who we are and allow us to be comfortable just being who we were meant to be.

Give more than you expect to receive.

Photo by Gazel Serceh

Give before you get...

You want bigger and better things in life. Don't we all? One thing I truly believe we all need to do before we can experience our best life is to give as much of ourselves to others as possible. Now before you go off to donate a kidney or eyeball or something, that's not quite what I mean. When I talk about giving as much of ourselves as possible I'm referring to doing for others. Think about something for a minute... imagine you're 88 years old, sitting on the front porch in your rocking chair looking back on your life. What kind of life would you see? If you continue living on the same path as you are today, will you be proud of how much you did for others? Have you made a difference in the lives of those around you? No matter how small, the effort of giving something of ourselves be it time, money, a kind word, etc, puts in motion the forces of the universe that will bring that kindness back to us. It really is true that you get what you give. Before you can have all that you want and continue to reap the rewards of a life well lived you need to give and give some more. Not only will you be making a difference in this world but you will also be helping yourself more than you realize. I wish I would have realized this sooner because something so simple can make such a difference.