6 Ways to Really Feel Your Age
There are certain occasions when we are slapped right in the face with the fact that we're just not as young as we used to be.
Sometimes those moments sneak up on us when we least expect it and we're faced with the harsh realization that no matter how much we try to deny it, no matter how hard we're trying to fight Father Time, we're right smack dab in the middle of our lives and there's no turning back.
Remember how you cringed the first time you were called Ma'am or Sir, or when some young fast food worker gave you the senior citizen discount when you didn't ask for it? C'mon, do I really look like a senior citizen to a 16 year old? Wow. Anyway, there are some things that make us realize we're not spring chickens anymore.
1. Try doing a cartwheel.
Sometimes you have this sudden burst of energy and decide you're going to just go for it. Stop. Please. Unless you've been seriously staying in shape, one cartwheel could do a lot of damage. Trust me, I know. For the next few days I was sore in places I'd long forgotten about. On the plus side, nothing reminds you that you should be hitting the gym like mid-life gymnastics.
2. Watch some of your teen's favorite YouTube channels.
I'll admit, some of it is funny and mildly interesting but most of the time I'm just sitting there in horror or totally confused. No wonder my kids are so strange. Where do they come up with this stuff? It's like Jackass meets Dennis the Menace on crack. And the music! Screamo? Dubstep? One sounds like you've unleashed all the demons from hell and the other sounds like a robot having sex with a toaster in the washing machine. Ummm, yeah.
3. Pull an all-nighter.
Long gone are the days when we could party all night, get up the next morning and start all over again. It takes me almost 3 hours to function in the morning as it is. You may as well shoot me. I think I'm still recovering from my most recent all-nighter... from last year.
4. Play musical video games like Rockband or Guitar Hero.
My seven year old breezes through this stuff like he was born playing the game. I, on the other hand, get booed right off the stage. Yes, it's pathetic. My lifelong dream of being a rock star is fading fast. Guess I can donate my tiger-stripe spandex pants to Goodwill now.
5. Go to the store and buy beer and cigarettes.
It doesn't matter if you don't smoke or drink, buy the stuff anyway and see if they card you. They probably won't. The first time I didn't get carded I made the mistake of asking why. The young, pretty cashier with a glowing clear complexion and radiant blonde hair said to me, "Because you remind me of my mom". Okay, okay, so I am old enough to be her mom but still, damn. At least she didn't say Grandma.
6. Tune in to the oldies station on the radio.
Take a good listen. They're playing all your favorite songs from your childhood, teen years, and early adulthood. No kidding. How did this happen? I know it's hard to think of Paula Abdul's songs as oldies, but I'm telling you they are. Straight Up!
Though getting older can sometimes be distressing, it has its benefits. I mean, most of us are a lot more secure with who we are than we were 20 years ago. Hopefully, we're a lot wiser than we once were too. All in all, we're in a pretty good place in life right now and we have a lot to look forward to, including legit senior discounts and there's always Social Security (we hope).