His fists and nails leave bruises and scratches but most of all he leaves dents in my heart. "I hate you" is something I hear almost every day.
He tells me I'm ugly. I never know what kind of mood he will be in. Always walking on eggshells.
But I know he loves me.
If I don't make his meals exactly the way he wants them or if he decides it's not good enough I sometimes end up wearing the food.
He rips my hair out. He brings blood when he bites. He bites quite often.
I've lost count of the number of times I've been slapped across the face. Once I thought he broke my nose.
But I know he loves me.
He wants what he wants when he wants it and doesn't mind telling me so. He tells me I'm stupid. He tells me I hate him.
Sometimes he throws things at me. If I don't do things to his satisfaction he will break things I love. Sometimes.
I feel like running away even though I know he loves me.
It still hurts. I still bleed. I still cry. I still love him.
He's my son.
And I know he loves me.
My 6 year old son has PDD-NOS with violent outbursts. He's a beautiful, intelligent little guy but sometimes I'm scared of him. =(
No comments:
Post a Comment